


Forbidden hope

by Idk1



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Multi, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Sansa-centric, a bit more angst, not sure yet - Freeform, sad or happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-01 08:23:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11482455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idk1/pseuds/Idk1
Summary: She resigned herself to her fate. The blood pounding through her head, surging through, storm. chaos. then finally peace.This was the best she could dare to hope for, she knew. But couldn't help the one word, dripping with a flurry of emotions - confusion, anger, self-pity. 'why' coursing through all her body, until finally she pushes it out of her throat so quietly. He couldn't hear her. Just as it always was, and will be.





	1. 1- restrained

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I think I've pretty much given up on my other story. I just had -12786489683 motivation, and I found it really difficult to write, hopefully this one will be better :)   
> Enjoy,

slowly unlacing her gown she turned to face him. His purple eyes bore into her, through her soul, piercing her heart. Just like similar eyes had done mere moons ago. The two different men's eyes were unsettlingly similar, while sadly, incredibly different, ones were a vibrant, hopeful black. However his, his were an unnatural shade of purple, twinkling at her from across the room.

 

"Sansa" he breathed, slowly approaching her, a predatory look shimmering in his violet beads. She was as naked as her name day.  _He's not Ramsay, not ramsay, not ramsay._ She repeated to herself, restraining the urge to cover herself.  _Jon said he was kind, he won't hurt me._ Sansa had trusted Jon before he announced she was to marry Aegon. She had to trust him now. 

 

He kissed her, it wasn't unpleasant at all,  _I may grow to like his kisses_ , she thought to herself, It didn't matter anyway, whether she did or didn't like it. Family Duty Honour, the words that had been drilled into her as soon as she could comprehend what they meant. This marriage would help her family, so she would do her duty to it, in turn, keeping her honour. It was a circle she knew well enough by now. Sansa's feelings came last, always last. Never at the forefront of her, or anyone elses mind. 

 

She thought she had learned that lesson after kings landing, she was wrong, then after ramsay, she thought nothing could hurt her, she had already been hurt too much. She was wrong. She naively believed Jon would love her as she loved him. Wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. The one place that Joffrey, Cersei, Ramsay, even Baelish couldn't even begin to touch. The place she thought would be safe in the hands of Jon Snow, had been crushed, defiled by the very man she placed her remaining shreds of hope in. 

 

He pushed her gently on to the bed, still with his lips intertwined with hers. They broke the kiss, and sansa felt disappointed, she wished, with all of her cold, shards of heart, that they could just kiss. That wouldn't be so bad.  _No. Stop. You can't allow yourself to hope._ Locking down those thoughts, she lay back and waited for what was to come.

resigning herself to her fate, she heard him grunting as he thrust in and out, until the sound of the blood pounding through her head took over, surging through, storm. chaos. then finally peace.

  
This was the best she could dare to hope for, she knew. But couldn't help the one word, dripping with a flurry of emotions - confusion, anger, self-pity. 'why' coursing through all her body, until finally she pushes it out of her throat so quietly. He couldn't hear her. Just as it always was, and will be.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. chapter 2- regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon pov,  
> enjoy,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me ages to write this I'm sorry guys...  
> please read the notes at the end will give abit of backstory and what-not  
> hope you like it :D

He stared at the crumpled piece of paper in his hands. Tracing the creases with his fingers.  _what have I done?_   He threw the piece of paper, the paper with her words that crumbled his carefully built up emotions into a pile of rubble, hurling it into the fireplace, he watched the flames lick at the edges of the paper, disintegrating it. He wished it would do the same to her words etched into his skull.

 

... _I am eternally grateful for this match, half-brother, It is greatly beneficial to the realm, to you, to everyone who matters..._

_...eternally grateful for this match, half brother..._

Half brother.

 

She hadn't called him that since before she left for kings landing all those years ago. The two words sent shivers down his spine, shivers much like the ones he had beyond the wall, just as he knew she wanted them to. The letter arrived three days ago and Jon had been in a numb state since.  _What have I done?_

 

... _To everyone who matters..._

Had Aegon hurt her?  _No._ Why not?  _I wouldn't be related to someone who could._ Are you sure? 

He pushed his head into the heel of his palm. His mind was injecting poisonous thoughts throughout him, sending him reeling.

 _yes, I'm sure._ He could've hurt her and there's nothing you could do about it.  _It's my fault, my fault, all my fault. I'm sorry._

 

 

He was pulled out of his reverie by a knock at his door.

 

"mi'lord?" It was Satin, Jon's servant, who was more of a friend now, peeking around the door " 's lady Targaryen, wants a word... In private" he lowered his voice for the last part and grinned suggestively. Jon wasn't in the mood for his japes, he rolled his eyes before looking over to his mirror that his fist came into contact with yesterday, leaving Jon with a bleeding fist and a broken mirror. He looked awful. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a rats nest that even a comb couldn't tame. He sighed, attempting to rake his fingers through his hair slightly before telling Satin to let her in.

 

"Lord Stark I wanted t..." she paused, her eyebrow shooting up as her eyes looked at Jon's dishevelled appearance. Jon always felt he needed to be aware of his appearance around Daenerys, whenever he knew he would see her he allowed time to look his best - which was obviously very different to how he looked currently, aswell as his appearance he chose his words carefully around Daenerys, one wrong move could prove fatal. "um. I wanted to speak with you" 

 

He didn't think he had enough energy to hold a half-decent conversation with anybody, let alone her, but there's no refusing the mother of dragons, which, as annoying as it was, Jon couldn't help admire her for it. "Of course... Your grace" He had to reprimand himself for almost forgetting his courtesies, and it was such a Sansa thing to do, his breath caught in his throat and his eyes glazed over, before he contorted his face back to the stoic farce he normally held, it was too slow though apparently, as Daenerys raised her other eyebrow up. "You must forgive me if I'm not the greatest conversation your grace, I am very tired." He recovered quickly.

 

"Oh. Well. it isn't too important, I can wait if you want, Jon" She replied, eyes softening a little.

 

Jon was confused. Daenerys never used his name, and normally never gave people a choice in matters, whether trivial or hugely consequential, and that look she was giving him, her stunning purple eyes were sparkling at him from across the room. If Jon didn't know her, he would've said she was trying to seduce him. "Actually your Grace, I am incredibly exhausted at the moment, so I would be awful company for you anyway, sorry."

 

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." The briefest flash of hurt hit her eyes, so short lived, it caused Jon to question if it was even real, before she slipped her mask of nonchalance back on. "We'll speak tomorrow then." Jon nodded and smiled as she left the room.

 

Later that night, Jon kept replaying his and Sansa's conversation about her marriage, desperately seeking something, anything to make himself feel better.

* * *

 

 

" You wanted to speak to me?" Sansa asked, blue eyes open to him.

"yes I um. *Ahem* don't really know how to say this but..."

She laughed, that laugh that Jon could listen to forever, the laugh that filled him with the warmth and comfort of home. "It's okay. You're not exactly the best with words" 

Jon grinned before continuing, "well unfortunately, this is something I have to say myself, and I can't get you to say it like I normally do..."

 

She smiled, allowing him to say what he needed. Jon noticed a slight hint of panic creep through her body. He sighed heavily. " I've arranged a good match for you, and before you say anything, he's a good man, he's kind, caring won't ever hurt you who knows maybe you'll fall in love with him, I mean your mother and Father did eventually didn't they, you know I'd never ma..." his rambling was interrupted by her sharp Intake of breath. Her lip started trembling and Jon found himself drowning in those blue orbs, so full of unspoken pain and sorrow, just like they had been at Castle Black all those moons ago. He wanted nothing more than to take back his cruel words and embrace her, hold her until it all went away, breathe in her sweet scent over and over, so nothing else could reach his nose again. But he couldn't. Wouldn't. That was what caused this in the first place. He was addicted to her, her Bastard Half-brother, just as she had called him before, whenever he saw her he became restless, needing to feel her, to breathe her in. Just to be close to her. It was wrong. She had already been used by so many men in her life. She was vulnerable, he wouldn't take advantage of her. She deserved better, a man who was full, a man who wouldn't wake her up in the night with his nightmares, when she had her own to worry about. She deserved someone who would look after her without needing to be looked after himself. He had to get her away from him. He was pathetic. Aegon wasn't.

 

So when he came to Jon with a marriage proposal, Jon had accepted, telling himself that the marriage would be helpful for all parties, it would resolve the bad blood between the two families, create future royal heirs, secure the Targaryens dragon fire against the white walkers, and after helping to take back Kings Landing, the North would be independent.  _What are you talking about, if you wanted to do that you could just marry daenerys yourself. Selfish pervert._

 

Her lip stopped trembling and she lifted her chin up, her eyes grew cold, devoid of all emotion other than pure hatred. They sliced open his skin, the feeling worse than even the daggers which killed him.  It numbed his heart, his blood freezing over. Everyone always said Sansa was the most Tully out of all the Starks, most like her mother. But that look, that was Winter and Ice in it's most deadly form. 

 

"who." she demanded, voice like a blow to the head. "Aegon" he croaked back. She nodded before turning and leaving.

Leaving Jon to wallow in self hatred alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly,  
> Jon knows he is a Targaryen, we find out how later. But no one else knows (except the person who told him ofc) he found out after Sansa left so he didn't tell her, otherwise yes, maybe he might've married her idk.  
> secondly,  
> SOOORRYYY it took so loonggg, I broke up for summer last Friday, and had a football tournament last weekend which didn't finish until monday, so didn't start writing until Tuesday, and I found this chapter really hard to write, but I wanted it to be somewhat good bc it's the first jon chapter and what-not basically I had writers block, shitty excuse, especially this early on ik I'm sorry. 
> 
> thirdly. (thirdly? third? idk)  
> Jon is at winterfell with dany drogon and viserion prepping for the fight against the wights, not sure if i'll include a chapter of that fight, I don't think i'll be up to it, i'd be better doing flashbacks of it.  
> And Aegon is at dragonstone with Sansa prepping to take back Kings Landing from Cersei, Jon and Dany will join them after the wights are dealt with so I will probably do a chapter for that battle. 
> 
> lastly,  
> please leave any feedback positive or negative, I really appreciate it, the comments on the last chapter helped me to sorta overcome the writers block a lil bit so thanks guys!


	3. chapter 3- twisted memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubt anyone still gives a toss about this story anymore but.
> 
> Warning Non-con in this chapter, it's not too graphic, but if anyone wants to miss it its from the first divider until basically the end. 
> 
> please read the notes at the end :)
> 
> most importantly, thank you to everyone who left kudo's and feedback on previous chapters it's greatly appreciated. And I know this has been absolutely bloody ages so I am sorry, I don't really have an excuse so feel free to mug me in the comments ;)

Sansa remembered her time in the vale with petyr, when she looked at an overview of her life, she considered it to be one of the better times. Although she had the unwanted attentions of Baelish to deal with, it was a time for her to rebuild her strength in, somewhat safety, after Kings Landing. Reflecting on it now though, Sansa knew that if she had stayed there longer, things would've gone downhill quickly. That is why she needed some time to herself when her new husband announced that Lord Petyr Baelish, Lord protector of the Eyrie would be visiting Dragonstone to discuss their alliance for the War against the Night king. 

 

The door to their room opened, it was Aegon. 

"Are you well my lady?" He said as he strode in with his cocky demeanour, swiping the jug of wine, before refilling his cup and sitting down with a sigh. 

"Yes, my lord, perfectly fine."

"hmm, I noticed you seemed rather restless after I announced Baelish, the lord protector of the eyrie, was gracing us with his astounding company" He swung his cup around dramatically as he said the title with faux admiration. 

"yes, well, less astounding, more... unnerving" 

he huffed. "smarmy bastard" 

She raised her eyebrows, before letting out a laugh, earning one of his signature smiles back. He gazed at her again, the look which sansa didn't think she'd seen before, maybe once, their wedding night. It caused Sansa's heart to start racing, with excitement, or anxiety she could not say, perhaps a mixture. Normally her and her husbands conversations were polite, no longer than they needed to be, not unpleasant, but not something she would seek out. They were never normally this relaxed with eachother. she supposed it was a good thing.  She leant across the table, leaving one hand next to the fruit bowl as the other hand went to pick a grape, gently he lay his hand on top of hers and his eyes darkened. 

"you agree with me."

she looked down at his hand, it felt cold in hers, his lithe fingers swirling around her knuckles, before nodding her head.

"You said unnerving, when have you had to deal with him?"

she wetted her lips, giving her time to come up with a reasonable answer. "he helped Jon and I reclaim Winterfell, he knew my mother and heard that we were trying to take winterfell back from the people who killed her, so he asked if we needed his help" Only half a lie. He nodded and suddenly pulled his hand away, seemingly remembering the boundaries which had fallen into place after they were married. Sansa relaxed back into the chair after the loss of contact. A silence fell over the table as he looked out of the window, Sansa didn't think he was looking at anything in particular, the sound of her chewing became much more predominant as an awkward veil pressed down on them. He stood up abruptly and announced that it was getting dark and that they should get some sleep. 

 

As Sansa lay in bed she kept thinking about her time in the vale and knew, that's where her nightmares would lead her tonight.

* * *

Aegon was awoken from his dream by something, he wasn't sure what. He looked over and saw Sansa thrashing about. He sighed, she always did this. He noticed the bottom of her smallclothes had ridden up and he could see tops of her legs, it was too dark to make them out properly but after the dream of Sansa he just had he was feeling insanely aroused. Slowly, he reached out to stroke her leg. She immediately stilled, he carried on, slowly getting further up her leg, hearing her whimper, the noise went straight to his cock and he drew in a shaky breath,  _how easy it would be_ , he bit his lip as he precariously drifted his hand up and up. Her breathing hitched and she whispered "please" with something that caused Aegon to stop,  _fear? No. i'm her husband. she can't fear me._   He carried on. Even slower this time. "I don't..." she breathed out. Aegon felt her body tense up,  _It must be pleasure_. He didn't stop. 

* * *

Sansa woke up to an empty bed. She remembered her nightmare too vividly. she had been right. Petyr starred frequently during the night. 

_She was watching from the skies, it was her fathers execution again, she could see herself on the floor, Joffrey sneering, cersei looking angry, and everyone else was cheering. It was the same as her usual dreams. She saw petyr. He was standing there with his signature smirk on his face, except instead of green, his eyes were violet. Suddenly the crowd turned and gasped. Jon was standing there. He ran to the stand, quicker than humanly possible. Jumping on top of Baelish he started pummelling his face in, just like he had done to Ramsay. Slowly Kings Landing turned to winterfell and petyr turned to Ramsay. This time she was seeing through her own eyes instead of from the skies._

 

_Ramsay pulled a dagger out of nowhere, sansa opened her mouth to scream. Nothing came out. He plunged the dagger into Jon's neck. Ramsay dragged himself up and stared at Sansa. He smiled. She was glued to the spot, he jumped on her and tore her dress off. Started stroking her legs. "please..." was all she could manage, as per usual he didn't stop. "I don't..."  she stopped as she heard Joffrey, "leave her face, I like her pretty"  Ramsay grinned and looked over his shoulder to Jon who was lying in his own blood, staring at Sansa as his chest rose and fall slower and slower. "You've known her since she was a girl, now watch her become a woman" She froze as she felt Ramsay's hand in between her legs, staring at Jon, his eyes slowly draining of all life._

 

She awoke after that dream, still feeling the pressure inbetween her legs, Aegon's hand was resting there. her breathing caught, slowly she maneuvered herself away from his body, breathing easier now that she was at the end of the bed. No longer suffocated by his presence, she found sleep came relatively easy. 

 

Now when she looked over, Aegon wasn't there, he must've gone to break fast. Sansa was guilty to say that, after last night, she was pleased he wasn't still lying next to her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get uncomfortable doing Non-con scenes so I don't think i'll do anymore, I just wanted to do this one to show the kind of marriage Aegon and Sansa have.
> 
> Please don't get mad at me! but I haven't ever actually read the books, so I have nooo Idea of the sort of character Aegon is, which is why if I do another Aegon pov it won't be very long because I haven't the foggiest idea what he's like in the books, If you want me to, then I can develop his character a bit more, It just won't be like the books, I'm going for a sort of man who feels like he's missed out on a lot of what was his birth right (money and its perks basically) because of the Lannisters and the Baratheons and the Starks, so he has a subconscious dislike for members of those three houses, you will see that a lot more with Tyrion in the upcoming chapters.  
> Also, I hope I haven't offended anyone in this chapter, sexual abuse is a very sensitive subject, I haven't delved into it too much here, but I probably will, and if I do I will try to give it justice, if anyone did find my portrayal pretty horrendous, please don't be afraid to tell me and bob's your uncle I hopefully won't offend too many people :)
> 
> Lastly pleeeeaaase leave any feedback, good or bad, i'll reply as quick as I can.

**Author's Note:**

> Promise this will all be put into context next chapter. 
> 
> i'd appreciate any negative, or positive feedback your willing to give, and of course Kudo's! 
> 
> Love you guys


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